Fear: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.
If you've been following me for a while then you're probably reading this and wondering what the hell I'm talking about. I haven't been completely sharing everything in my life with you guys in the past month and it's because I feel lost. We all go through situations where we wonder 'What's next?' and this has been the biggest experience for me to date. A little bit of a life update for you. As of the end of May, I lost my job. Now this was something that I've been internally battling with for a really long time, but it kind of just happened and that decision was made for me a little earlier. My happiness and worth was something that I placed on the back burner for so long and even though I have enjoyed my job, the people and the experiences that it gave me for the past four years, it is a chapter of my life that I am even happier to leave behind and learn from. I thank everyone who I have met through that stage in my life and those who gave me a chance through the beginning stages of my career and start into adulthood. For the most part, I really loved what I did. As of July 15th, I will be moving out of my loft, the place that I dreamed about since I was 16 years old. Living there has been amazing aesthetic wise and I will miss the character those warehouses hold. I will be heading to the farm for a while until I find my next "home." I am so lucky that I have parents who still offer me this cushion to fall back on when needed. I promise I will share the adventure of house hunting with you when the time comes. It's always a joy to read your responses and thoughts and ideas.
So, I guess I'm officially 'jobless'. Wow. Did I just say that out loud? I guess I did. Now I'm left with questioning my 'what's next?' after a month of soul-searching. This has been the biggest fear of the unknown for me, but luckily I have had some amazing people surrounding me with open arms of support and guidance. I have to remind myself that I have been doing Nouveau Central for a while now and have incredible followers who care about me and my work. I've worked with some amazing clients and designed spaces that they still love to this day. I've created a product that has sold out multiple times both online and in stores like Morgan Imports. I've been voted best of Houzz three years in a row and have a 4.8 star rating. I've participated in local markets as a vendor and even planned and hosted my very own. Let's not forget about all the amazing homes, people and stories I've captured with the "Curated Home Tour Blog" (which I miss dearly.) So, as I sit here remembering MY worth, I also realize that I am not fully jobless. Maybe I won't make the most money I can make without having that steady paycheck (for now), but I have gained my happiness back. Something all the money in the world can't buy.
I guess what I'm saying is even though life can really suck sometimes, it's always important to make sure that your happiness comes first and that you're being 100% true to yourself. In this world that we live in where the rent is too damn high and bills exist, I know that it can be hard. But, remember that there are other options out there! There is always going to be something you can apply your skills, knowledge and experiences to. I'm not saying quit your job if you can't afford to, but if you can, it may be the best thing you can do for yourself mentally. Face the fear of the unknown. Let it consume you, but in a good way. Don't doubt yourself and get discouraged. Take time to gain experiences with life: job hunt, build your resume, go to interviews, be with your friends and family, take a trip, go back to school, get a hobby, drink wine (optional... but it helps) - just do something for you. Turn that fear into perseverance. It's so f*cking scary, it is. But you're not alone and it's just a short time in this thing we call life. It's building you for your next chapter. Your next beautifully designed wooden carved french doors with brass knobs will unlock and open soon. I promise.
So.. for now I guess the answer to my 'what's next?' is to take all these ideas and ambitions that have been in my head for the past four years and bring them to fruition. It's time to focus on myself and really build my brand and my future. Plan more markets, workshops and events at the farm. Work with other creatives to build and support this community we live in. And become a true freelancer and offer my talents and services to new clients. I will walk this tightrope and push hard to make my dream a reality. I will continue my addiction of thrifting and shopping to resell my vintage finds on my new Insta-Shop: @shopnouveaucentral and Etsy. I'll have fun on social media and help those who need a little management and content editing. Offer styling and merchandising services to those who need help figuring out what to buy, where to place it or how to make their space feel like home. If a job comes along that I feel will appreciate my work, my worth and me then possibly accept it and balance Nouveau Central alongside it. So many creators wear many hats, it's not a sign of failure. I will spend more time with my loved ones, soaking in what I've been missing while working weekends for the past three years. Sleep in with the dogs and boyfriend, cuddle hard and get up at 10 am on Saturdays, if I want, or get up super early and go to the Farmer's Market, which I've only done once since living in Durham the past eight years.. shame. I’m just going to live a little, while doing what I love the most and work hard to reach my milestones and goals.
So, this is where you come in to this plan of mine. I think this is the biggest fear, really - asking people for help. Keep in mind when you ask for help you're still human and it's okay to show a little vulnerability. EVERYONE needs help occasionally. It doesn't make you any less, or weak or desperate. I think I just finally realized this. So, will you help me? I want to make a living out of this passion that I love and need support. The easiest way to support a local maker or small business is to just share their content, posts or blogs. You don't have to show up to every event they do or purchase from them every time. Just sharing their news, liking their photos, commenting encouraging things and tagging new people who would enjoy their work or products is key to that person or business’ journey to success.
My first insta-sale on my new 'insta-shop' page will be held tonight, June 17th, 2019 at 8PM EST. Please share on your social media accounts, tell a friend and set a reminder to join me with a glass of your go-to wine (mine is anything white) to open this door in my life with me. I want to thank you all for following me and supporting me for however long you've been a part of my journey. You're the reason I haven't given up. I am so inspired everyday by so many of you guys. Thank you. Thank you for being here. I am truly not alone, and neither are you.